The Good Apostate: Feminism And Humanism Sitting In A Tree

Somehow Feminism is a word that continues to evoke far more controversy and polarisation than one would expect. I mean, how long has it been around already? By conservative standards it can be traced back to old pictures of early woman suffrage rallies, big hats and sashes aplenty, from the infancy of the last century. Others would attach all of the struggles for women's rights throughout history to this more recent label. Either way, I think the point is clear. Feminism is not new. In fact it is a fixture in social discourse and is covered, as briefly and poorly as most topics, in the curriculum of most public schools. So why all the ongoing fuss?
First, allow me to acknowledge that there are those who hold extreme views on the matter. Most notably the "women need to know their place" on the anti-female end and "men are rapists" on the anti-male end. I'm sure many of you have shared my uneasiness as such views make their unexpected appearance in an otherwise interesting civil discussion about the sexes. Particularly irritating is when it surfaces out the mouth of someone who's been agreeing with your point of view. So fun, switching over to legal talk clarifying one's own opposition to sexism or even crazy hate talk. A bit less productive. And BTW, if you don't know what I'm talking about you need to live a less sheltered life or you, more likely, hold the lunatic views I'm addressing. For help in ridding yourself of said acidity immediately remove yourself from your religion and/or grow up and get over your painful past.

How I See Feminism

Allow me to roll about in the valley of common sense for a time, nestled between the mountain ranges of dumbass and emotional problems. Nestled here with the vast majority of you fine members of civilisation focused on real problems and trying to be better people. Despite our imperfections we do not feel the need to flex our manly muscles and push women around to feel confident about our penises. Neither do we compulsively starve or shake select naked portions of our bodies at night clubs to feel we have enough value to merit being loved.
We do what we do because we want to. Men and women but, more importantly, as individuals each in a different way. What kind of a pathetic existence it would be to ignore the beauty of your uniqueness to run after the approval of other people who exert pressure to conform to an ideal male or female social identity. Shouting at men to drive larger pickups and watch more football or bellowing like an idiot for women to try out for the fire department and not shave their armpits. Give it a rest. Let people be who they are and deal with your own damn issues.
The only thing that matters is that we respect each other and appreciate our differences, including sex. There is no shame or danger in the variations in men and women. Embrace it. Own it. Love it.

Acknowledging The Past

Many conversations about the rights of women will hinge in no small part upon the attitudes concerning the history of oppression of women and its bearing on society today. To deny that there remains a very real and prolific influence of inequality both in the material and psychological sense would be more than irresponsible. It would be insidious. Life is often in the struggle and I will not pretend to have the answers for the many often complex issues that lie in the interplay between the sexes. Gender identity and individual versus social identity are undoubtedly at the heart of the confusion but I feel we are slowly making progress. So much depends on every person taking responsibility for their thoughts, words and actions. Responsibility for maturing and putting away these outdated and ridiculous models of life portrayed on old television sitcoms.
On many occasions, despite having a penis, I have found myself taking up the flag of feminism in discussions both heated and calm. It is difficult to express how it feels to be prying open a woman's mind to the realisation that the limitations on her life have been self imposed by a systematic indoctrination stemming from her childhood and conditioning resulting from her familiar environment. Who the hell left this to me? Are you all insane? I suppose we all play our role in humanity's slow surfacing but it is a real Matrixy moment. I don't even want to get into the debates over how genetics play into it all but I will say that there are many areas of scientific research both social and biological and I encourage readers to look into them. It is amazing what can be observed.

Dealing With Assholes And Their Shit

This long journey of understanding what we call male and what we call female began for me when I was a child. I remember a determination in my heart when I would see my mother crying after an inability of my parents to communicate with each other effectively. My parents have always loved each other but like the rest of us have had to work to overcome barriers in their relationships. This can be tedious and seem hopeless at times. Some of us are laden with scars from past pain or trauma but it is critical we not give in to the darkness of hate or despair. The following is my plain portrait of lost and angry souls you should be wary of. They do not seek understanding or equality but vengeance and to spread a shared increase in suffering. Misery loves company.

Men Who Want Control- These pathetic creatures will seek to dominate women by means religious, economic, social, physical, psychological, etc. Be ready to stand your ground or even flee if necessary in the moment. Support for the vulnerable women by men and women in her community and family is a moral compulsory action as isolation can cripple those most in need of liberation. We must all be prepared to question our true situation and be willing to make the changes needed. Am I mistreating, am I being mistreated, is someone I know being mistreated? What am I going to do about it? Because life should be free and the bonds of abusive control are destructive, immoral, and must be actively fought.

Women Who Attack- For a long time I thought that the idea of women who went through life antagonising and attacking men was a silly imagined concoction. I had not really noticed such behaviour outside of disputes where it would be expected on either side but there have certainly been a few shining examples as the years have gone by. I watched a crack-head (literal drug addict) torture a friend while he simply tried to maintain a presence in his daughter's life. Her antics were psychotic and there is a need to witness such displays to really believe. I have seen women pressure their male partner into ending friendships, quiting careers or dreams, even demanding he turn his back on family. Setting aside unusual circumstances, all of these damning behaviours stem from a place of pain in the woman's psychology. They are actions we call disorders and are every bit as unacceptable as the dysfunctional ways of their male counterparts. Odds are that this type of injustice, rather than abuse of authority or physical abuse more typically commited by men, will probably manifest as a cruel friend, demeaning spouse, or manipulative partner. They may be a participant in a feminist organisation disguising her true motivations for her involvement. This type of hatred in an equality and education movement can do serious harm and truly hurts women as surely as men.

Everyone should be vigilant in questioning their own motives, be honest with oneself, and check that their activities are productive and positively effecting the community. We can all be wrong. Catch it. Fix it.

A Few Thoughts

Equity vs Gender Feminism (One is science friendly, the other not)

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolutionary-entertainment/201205/giving-feminism-bad-name

An Excellent Example Of A Woman Supremacist (or possible drunk party girl on a free ride)

-Long read but worth it
-A feminist who does little to better women, much to demonize men, and tons to promote herself
-A skeptic spokesperson who attacks science and adheres to none of the principles of skepticism
-Does all of this time and again at science heavy skeptic conventions, much like the one in this video
http://skepticink.com/incredulous/2012/12/01/science-denialism-at-a-skeptic-conference/